I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
cat food counts as protein by the way
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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