Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
even my farts smell like vagina
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
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He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
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I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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