Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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