i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
