Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
