I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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