Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
