And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
