guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I think people are normalizing furries
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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