yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
