Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
two words...techno handjob
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
