I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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