Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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