Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
