Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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