Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
