what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i think i have two assholes
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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