Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
