just survived the first fart of the relationship.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
