I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She bit a glass in half.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
