I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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