last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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