apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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