this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
