how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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