dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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