whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
