Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
We had to coat check the pizza.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
