Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
