there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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