I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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