Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
