on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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