Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize