the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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