Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
