so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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