Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Also, beer. Big fan.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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