barbara walters just said penis...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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