can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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