I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
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i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
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How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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