GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
