I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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