One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
