didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
