VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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