I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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