Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
