I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
