I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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