good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize