i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
