the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
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