It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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