Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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