Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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