There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize