im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My penis needs a shock collar
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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