Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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